Dane Cook: Want to Be an Alien | Dane Cook | Jokes.com

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Dane Cook Jokes
Dane Cook: Want to Be an Alien
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I want to be an alien. The movie 'Aliens' -- isn't that the best, those aliens? You don't mess with those aliens. They're bad-ass looking. They're always wet and sh*t. You don't mess with that. If I got on the subway like that, you wouldn't mess with me.
More Dane Cook Jokes »
See Dane Cook Tell It » Dane Cook - Why Not Me Dane Cook discusses his dreams.
Filed Under: pop culture (850),  Dane Cook (29),  aliens (8)
Posted: 06/27/00

Jake Johannsen - Space Travelers

Aliens are smarter than us and they know it.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Comedy Central Presents (2172), animals (540)

Posted: 04/03/03
Views: 1,719

Eddie Gossling - Alien Abduction

Eddie is not the guy you bring back to your planet.

Tags: Eddie Gossling (11), Comedy Central Presents (2172), imitations (847)

Posted: 02/19/04
Views: 2,383

Vic Henley - Southern Presidents

Ronald Reagan thought he was a cowboy.

Tags: Vic Henley (8), Comedy Central Presents (2172), alcohol (516)

Posted: 05/28/05
Views: 6,340

Ty Barnett - Didn't Know It Was Possible

Steven Spielberg should be president.

Tags: Ty Barnett (10), Comedy Central Presents (2172), George W. Bush (98)

Posted: 02/16/06
Views: 4,291

Mike B. - UFOs

White people are the only ones who see aliens.

Tags: Mike Britt (8), ethnic (870), imitations (847)

Posted: 12/24/00
Views: 2,930

Nick Swardson - Alien Restaurants & Sleeping

Who wants to eat in space that badly?

Tags: Nick Swardson (50), food (719), parents (591)

Posted: 11/06/10
Views: 24,699

The Hot List - Reggie Watts - Nation of Zog

Reggie Watts will parlay his Hot List honor into finding alien life out there.

Tags: Reggie Watts (12), sex (1202), food (719)

Posted: 12/04/10
Views: 33,741

Kathleen Madigan - The Unexplainable

Alien abductions and going fishing are very similar.

Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (2172), ethnic (870)

Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 6,542

Dane Cook - Discovery Channel

How did Dane end up watching this channel for so long?

Tags: Dane Cook (30), Premium Blend (748), animals (540)

Posted: 06/12/98
Views: 26,152