A: Well, let me tell you, there's a vas deferens...
A moose has horns in the front and its asshole in the back, a ska band has...well...the opposite arrangement.
So she can hang an air freshner from it.
2. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
4....
Nothing. Elton John prefers men.
And so the lawyer went to Heaven.
At that same moment, a High School guidance counselor died and...
"Like, there was this totally dumb brunette who totally walked into the Gap and asked for Dolce & Gabana!"
"So like this...
2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer...
- If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this...
"My grandfather...
It uses a stem cell phone!
"Shut-up. It won't fit over your iron lung."
"Mommy, mommy! The room is spinning!"
"Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- What happens if you get scared to death twice?
- If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If you...
