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Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii."
They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii."
"Thank you," says the satisfied first man.
"You're velcome," replies the passerby.
They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii."
"Thank you," says the satisfied first man.
"You're velcome," replies the passerby.
Jokes Tagged:
travel (276)
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. What are you -- stupid?
A: One. What are you -- stupid?
Jokes Tagged:
travel (276)
I'm staying in a nice hotel not too far from here. They even put me in the honeymoon suite... I'm staying with a nice couple from Nebraska.
I'm gonna go to upstate New York. New York's the only state that has an upstate... Other states have applied for it, but they can't get it.
I found this beautiful beach. It was right on the water.
Whale watching -- that was fun. Captain even let me steer the ship. I liked that. Wasn't crazy about sitting on his lap, but I did all right.
If there's such a thing as reincarnation, I was never Chinese 'cause none of this crap's ringing a bell.
You could be a genius -- you try to write a postcard, you come across like a moron anyway. It's always like, 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.'
You do things in a hotel you would never think about doing in your own home. As soon as that door shuts, pants come off. Drop stuff on the floor -- I ain't picking that crap up.
Why do they bother putting wheels on luggage? Did you ever try to pull your luggage through the airport? There's no control. I killed, like, three kids on the way here.
The first book I'd bring with me would be a big, plastic inflatable book, and the second one would be 'How to Make Oars out of Sand.'
Because I'm a genius, I went to Las Vegas in mid-July. I went there because the flight to the sun was all booked up.
I was down in Tennessee. Let me tell you right now about Tennessee. Your car breaks down in Tennessee? You have just moved to Tennessee.
In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
We were in the hotel room, and it's kind of cold. 'Well,' I go, 'I'll put the heat on a little bit.' I put it on 70. It was freakin' Celsius! Yeah, know what that is in real life? That's like 2,000 degrees or something like that. The water in the toilet was boiling.
I went to North Dakota, and it was closed. The whole state -- I had to go around. They wouldn't let me in. I go, 'Come on, I gotta pee!' Nope. He goes, 'You gotta buy something.' I know -- and I only had $10 bucks, so I bought, like, 200 acres.
I'm just looking for a little mystery in life... like things you can't explain. Like, you go to Mexico, they tell you don't drink the water. You go to any diner here, who brings you the water? It's a mystery.
They put me in a Mexican Super 8, called the Grande Ocho. Everything in my room was chained down. I couldn't even pull my sheets back.
We got four boring seasons on the east coast: winter, spring, summer, and fall. You ever been to California? Wind, fire, mud, earthquakes.
You ever say a phrase you say all the time at the wrong time, feel like a complete idiot? Something like, 'You, too. You, too.' I was getting out of the cab at the airport, and the driver goes, 'Hey, have a nice flight.' 'You, too. You, too. You have a nice flight, too -- in case you ever fly some day.'
