Funny Jokes about technology | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

a
b
c
d
e
f
g
h
i
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
q
r
s
t
u
v
w
x
y
z
Show: ALL (1292)  |  VIDEOS (786)  |  JOKES (506)

Your Search for "technology" found 506 results in Jokes

1-20 of 506 Results
The salesman is using sex to sell me a CD player, giving me pressure about my love life. 'Mr. Mercurio, it's a five CD player carousel model. You load all five of your CDs into this baby -- you're with your woman, you're gonna make love -- you...
sex
technology
business
shopping
I like a escalator, man, 'cause an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.
technology
I wrote a script, and I gave it to a guy who reads scripts. And he read it and he says he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, 'F**k that, I'll just make a copy.'
pop culture
technology
work/office
I'm trying to become environmentally correct. I got an electric car... They're so cool, it's great. It's in the shop now. We're having a gas engine put in it.
technology
driving
I tried phone sex once. I did. I'll be honest with you -- I got my penis stuck in the nine.
sex
technology
They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you attach to your book. You know, I actually thought about buying one of these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
technology
shopping
This friend of mine told me to get Quicken for my computer. He's like, 'Todd, you gotta get Quicken. Look man, I make graphs of my finances.' Wow. If I am reading this pie graph correctly, looks like you spent half of last year's salary on the...
technology
money
friends
I'm afraid of my computer. I know when I turn it off, it's learning new things without me.
technology
Jokes Tagged: technology (506)Elvira Kurt (3) 
Can anyone in this room explain to me why Tampax needs a website? That's the last place any woman wants to be when she's bleeding.
men/women
technology
In the year 3000, everything will be instant... but the DMV will still take, like, nine f**king seconds.
technology
driving
Know what I would like to do? I'd travel back to when my mom and dad had sex to have me. And I'd just run into the bedroom, right when they're doing it, and just spank my dad on the ass: 'I'm your son from the future!'
kids
technology
family
When your floor model TV messes up, what are you supposed to do? Put a little one on the top.
technology
shopping
You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts...
technology
food
You don't just get a computer to get online. You gotta get other stuff. You better get a modem, or you're not getting on anything. You gotta get a monitor, that's what I found out. You gotta get a mouse. You gotta get a mouse pad. You gotta get a sperm guard for your keyboard.
sex
men/women
technology
He said, 'Arj, if you're having trouble with www.arjbarker.com, don't call me. You consult the Webmaster.' I said, 'Fine.' So, I called Spiderman.
pop culture
technology
I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?
technology
driving
I read my morning papers on the computer. It's just hard to hold the computer on the toilet 'cause I don't have a laptop.
technology
At this point in time, that's like saying you're not 'into the phone.'
technology
We spend all our time now on customer service phone calls. I used to read when I was on the toilet, but now that's when I make customer service calls.
technology
business
I tried to go on the Internet. I figured, you gotta be safe there, can't run into any problems on the Internet. I went on one of them sex sites, you know; I wanna see what the big deal is. I went to bigboobs.com 'cause that's what I like. The...
sex
health
technology