Jeff Dunham: I like Aquaman. He can breathe underwater and talk to fish. Melvin: Yeah, great. He has all the same powers as Spongebob. Jeff Dunham: How about the Hulk? Melvin: Why do you like the Hulk? Jeff Dunham: Well, the...
I think supers have super powers -- like the power to disappear anytime there's some stuff that needs to be done. Like they hear you coming: 'Quickly -- in the shape of a coat rack!'
All black men are superheroes: we are all faster than speeding bullets; we can all jump tall buildings. We just haven't mastered flying yet, white people. That's why, whenever you drive through the ghetto, you always see sneakers caught up in the telephone poles.
Now that I'm grown, I'm scared 'cause I'm thinking Lois is gonna get half of those powers when they get divorced. And you can't be Superman then, you know. It's like, 'Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound -- every other weekend.'
Some guys, they like panties too much. I was reading in the paper, there was a guy -- he got arrested because he would go into girls' houses, and he would steal their panties. That guy has psychological issues. I mean, don't get me wrong -- I like...