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Q: How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
Jokes Tagged:
school (117)
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
I used to wonder, how come you can't graduate church? It ain't but one book -- can't we finish this one book?
If they taught masturbation when I was in school, I could have been the valedictorian.
I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist -- and worse, she can prove it.
If you look in your high school yearbook, it's so great 'cause the stuff people wrote in there -- very sincere. I want to call people based on what they wrote in my yearbook. Like, I haven't talked to them since, just call 'em up: 'Hey Susan,...
You knew who the rich kids were, right? Right up at the front of the line, packet A: 15 10x12's, 32 5x7's, six friggin' posters. I was way back at the end of the line, not even standing in school anymore. It was packet Q, and it was one picture, and it was a Polaroid -- of the rich kid.
Daddy, what's a pronoun?' 'I don't know, a noun that gets paid?' 'What's a synonym?' 'A bun.' 'What's a homonym?' 'A gay nym.'
I went to an all-Jewish boys' high school. Played basketball, averaged 75 points a game.
If I drop out of school, where am I gonna find drugs?
For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.
Kids are chasing me down. 'Mr. Vallee, Mr. Vallee, what can I do for extra credit?' 'Jimmy, you got 98% in my class, OK? Unless you got Salma Hayek or a bottle of Captain Morgan in your backpack, I can't do anything for you.'
Part of growing up is learning your strengths and weaknesses. What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination ain't your thing than by getting drilled in the mouth by a red, rubber ball? You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times...
We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?
If everyone grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip clubs?
I wasn't a bad kid, but I wasn't a good student, you know what I mean? My mind was just always elsewhere. Even at my high school graduation, I didn't even hear 'em calling my name 'cause I was too busy playing with the tassel on my hat.
My friends say, 'Rocky, you don't seem that old.' I say, 'That's because I read at a third grade level -- keeps me young.'
I remember one time I brought my report card home, I go, 'Hey Pop, I got a B in Reading!' He goes, 'That's a D, you idiot!'
