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Q: How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
Jokes Tagged:
school (115)
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
I got hit with a ruler first day of kindergarten -- for smoking pot. Because if you bring it, you need to bring enough for everybody.
I never understood the concept of summer school. The teacher's going to go up there and go, 'OK, class, you know that subject you couldn't grasp in nine months? We're going to whip it out in six weeks.'
I used to be a substitute teacher. That's a crazy job. They call you up at six o'clock in the morning. They wake you up. Then, they ask you if you'd like to come in to work, and you can say no. My first year of teaching, I made $72.14.
You can always tell when the Catholics are clapping because their hands have been broken by rulers.
I'm a comedian, but I wasn't the class clown growing up. The class clown was this guy Kenny. Not to be crude, but he'd pull his dick out in gym class and whack people with it like it was a wet towel, and they'd cheer. People would be like, 'He hit...
When I was eight years old, I had to do a science project, but my dad just did it for me. I didn't contribute at all. I think the teacher kind of figured it out when the project was called, 'Is My Wife Cheating on Me?'
We had a lot of assemblies when I was growing up at my school, and they were all the same. Every assembly we had they would always bring in some former drug addict, and he'd be like, 'Yeah, you know, I was addicted to drugs for 20 years, and I...
I went to Catholic school for 12 years. People always go, 'Jimmy, you went to Catholic school for 12 years, how come you're not a Catholic?' I say, 'Because -- I went to Catholic school for 12 years.'
I had a horrible set of encyclopedias growing up. My parents didn't want to get new ones, so they got my grandma's old ones. A-Z was covered in two books then... I had no idea how old they were until I got back my failed report on the five planets of our solar system.
I drink every night. I still haven't gotten over the fact that I don't have school tomorrow.
On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.
Tuesday, she was...
Tuesday, she was...
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other...
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she...
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she...
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"
Another little girl says, "There's so much...
The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"
Another little girl says, "There's so much...
-- just HOW poisonous are poisonous snakes?
-- Which household products are most flammable?
-- Which hurts more: falling off the slide or being pushed off the slide?
-- Which tools are sharper: kitchen or garage?
-- can sharks hunt a...
-- Which household products are most flammable?
-- Which hurts more: falling off the slide or being pushed off the slide?
-- Which tools are sharper: kitchen or garage?
-- can sharks hunt a...
