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Q: How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
Jokes Tagged:
school (115)
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you...
A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
The girl goes to the principal's...
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other...
Really? These are the best years of my life? I live with my parents. I don't have a car. I'm a virgin. I have no money. And these are the best years of my life? Then kill me right now.
We had to practice what to do in case the Communists dropped the bomb on us. Like that would be the first place they'd bomb -- a Catholic grade school.
You think when gym teachers are younger, they're thinking, 'You know I want to teach, but I don't want to read'?
My kindergarten teacher was the first one to recognize something wasn't quite right with me. She called my mama and said, 'Ms. Kerwin, we're sending D.C. to the house. We think he might be -- retarded.' She said, 'Send him on home. I bet he won't be retarded tomorrow.'
The kids doing drugs should be the only ones expected to get an 'A' in chemistry. 'Alright, I'll let you students know only one of you received 100% on the final lab exam: Brad Catlet for turning in the ounce of crystal meth.'
Whenever you're young and in school and they show you a picture of someone on drugs, he's always in an alley, mangled and screwed up, right? He's got one shoe on and leaves in his hair. They never show you the happy, naked, running through the park picture, man.
I always loved art teachers because they were so bizarre. They were like the homeless people of the faculty -- all disheveled, wearing smocks, covered in paint, always digging through the garbage, looking for bottles and egg cartons and things.
First night, you get socks; second night, an eraser, a notebook -- it's a back to school holiday.
I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed, eight other students around me failed, too.
When I did drop out, a teacher of mine -- I remember her telling me that a friend of hers dropped out and ended up a stripper on drugs, kind of insinuating the same thing was probably gonna happen to me. I don't know -- my lack of interest in...
I was one of those kids that finished school early by dropping out.
I used to wonder, how come you can't graduate church? It ain't but one book -- can't we finish this one book?
If they taught masturbation when I was in school, I could have been the valedictorian.
I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist -- and worse, she can prove it.
If you look in your high school yearbook, it's so great 'cause the stuff people wrote in there -- very sincere. I want to call people based on what they wrote in my yearbook. Like, I haven't talked to them since, just call 'em up: 'Hey Susan,...
