Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
If you look in your high school yearbook, it's so great 'cause the stuff people wrote in there -- very sincere. I want to call people based on what they wrote in my yearbook. Like, I haven't talked to them since, just call 'em up: 'Hey Susan,...
You knew who the rich kids were, right? Right up at the front of the line, packet A: 15 10x12's, 32 5x7's, six friggin' posters. I was way back at the end of the line, not even standing in school anymore. It was packet Q, and it was one picture, and it was a Polaroid -- of the rich kid.
Kids are chasing me down. 'Mr. Vallee, Mr. Vallee, what can I do for extra credit?' 'Jimmy, you got 98% in my class, OK? Unless you got Salma Hayek or a bottle of Captain Morgan in your backpack, I can't do anything for you.'
Part of growing up is learning your strengths and weaknesses. What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination ain't your thing than by getting drilled in the mouth by a red, rubber ball? You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times...
I wasn't a bad kid, but I wasn't a good student, you know what I mean? My mind was just always elsewhere. Even at my high school graduation, I didn't even hear 'em calling my name 'cause I was too busy playing with the tassel on my hat.