Jokes tagged with 'religion' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Your Search for "religion" found 507 results in Jokes

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A Jewish temple is looking for a way to get the congregation to go to temple on Saturdays. When one of the presidents of the congregation was at a comedy show, he saw a hypnotist. He thought, if he can hypnotize these people, he could probably...
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
Q: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?

A: A nun falling down stairs.
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.

Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on...
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
The three wise men visit Joseph and Mary in the stable to see the newborn son. One extremely tall wise man hits his head on the door frame and exclaims, "Jesus Christ!"

Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down -- that's better than Clyde."
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
A stupid guy dies and goes to Heaven.

The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"

The guy replies, "That's easy. Today...
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
A preacher concludes his service by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark."

The following Sunday, the preacher says,...
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?

A: There are a dozen or so pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The cleric responds, "A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!"

religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
Did you hear the one about the Pope and the smokin'-hot hooker?

Despite the strumpet's aggressive offers to fellate him, the Pontiff maintained his holiness and prayed nightly for her soul.

religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

"What denomination?" asks the clerk.

"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.
religion
Jokes Tagged: religion (507) 
Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do...
whatever
religion
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)religion (507) 
Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn't see very well because of the nun's little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.

''I think I'll move to California, there's...

men/women
religion
Jokes Tagged: men/women (1717)religion (507) 
The Pope walked into a car dealership one day to buy a car. A young salesman came out just as soon as the Pope walked onto the lot.

''Hello, can I help you?''

''Yes, I'm looking for a car to drive to the Vatican.''

''We have a wide...

whatever
religion
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)religion (507) 
One Friday night in San Fransisco, a man hops a bus to go home. To his surprise, he sees a very good-looking nun in the back of the bus. He goes to the back of the bus and sits right in front of her. After about 5 minutes pass before he turns...
sex
religion
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)religion (507) 
Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name.

He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

pop culture
religion
Jokes Tagged: pop culture (770)religion (507) 
What do you call a nun who sleep walks?

A roamin' Catholic.

whatever
religion
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)religion (507) 
God created earth, and it was good. Then God created woman, and it was better. Then, one day, Eve said, "God, I'm bored what can you do for me?"

And God said in response, "I'll tell you what, I'll make you a man, he'll cook, clean, be nice,...

men/women
religion
Jokes Tagged: men/women (1717)religion (507) 
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.

"I'll make a deal with you," said his father. "You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, get your...

whatever
religion
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)religion (507) 
Jesus and Moses are playing golf and they''re on the tenth hole. Moses hits the ball and it heads straight for a pond. Just before the ball hits the water, the pond parts and the ball rolls up onto the green.

Jesus winds up and hits one...

sports
religion
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)religion (507)