Jokes tagged with 'money' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Q: What does one penny say to the other penny?

A: Let's get together and make some cents.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431) 
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.

He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431) 
Q: What has six balls and rips you off daily?

A: The lottery.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431) 
Q: Two coins add up to 30 cents, and one is not a nickel. What are they?

A: A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431) 
A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from...
kids
money
Jokes Tagged: kids (630)money (431) 
Q: Why did Florida orange growers offer O.J. Simpson $3 million?

A: To change his name to Apple Juice.
news & politics
money
Jokes Tagged: news & politics (616)money (431) 
Going to the ATM for me is a lot like playing the slot machines. I never know if anything's gonna come out of there.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Eddy Ifft (4) 
A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done...
money
driving
Jokes Tagged: money (431)driving (241) 
I love when I get a piece of mail, and above my name, it says, 'You've already been approved.' I am telling you, pre-approval -- is that not such sweet, sweet serendipity? For me, that's like the perfect hit. I get that natural high. I liken it to...
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Retta (12) 
I reached into this pocket and found a $10 bill. You know that feeling, that moment in time? You get so excited about $10 bucks. That's when you know you're poor.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Paul Mecurio (12) 
I put on my favorite winter jacket for the first time the other day, and as soon as I put my hands in those pockets, I was immediately reminded that last year I didn't have any money, either.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Ben Bailey (11) 
Usually this is between me and my maker, but I'll share it with you -- 28% of what I'm earning tonight, I am giving to the United States government.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)David Feldman (24) 
They say money changes people, and I say hook that sh*t up. I'm about due for some alterations. I don't care if money changes me into a 300-pound chinchilla with herpes simplex two.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Matt Fulchiron (1) 
Q: What has a bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A: A bingo machine.
money
aging
Jokes Tagged: money (431)aging (239) 
Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?

A: Question marks.
money
international affairs
Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide and thrills women?

A: Money.
men/women
money
Jokes Tagged: men/women (1717)money (431) 
I love you, wallet. I'm going to get you a Sears card tomorrow 'cause you're so good to me.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Brian Frazer (1) 
I got in trouble with American Express. They said to start leaving home without it.
money
Jokes Tagged: money (431)Jack Mayberry (3) 
Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?

A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.
money
travel
Jokes Tagged: money (431)travel (276) 
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."

On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel,...
money
potty humor
Jokes Tagged: money (431)potty humor (201)