Jokes tagged with 'military' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

This Site
The Web
jokes.com home Jokes.com - Stand-up Comedy's official site
jokes.com comedians Stand-up Comedians
jokes.com jokes Funny jokes, blonde jokes, joke of the day, Yo Mama jokes, and more
jokes.com videos The funniest stand-up video archive on the web
Upload your stand-up to the Jokes.com Open Mic Challenge
Show: ALL (272)  |  VIDEOS (242)  |  ? JOKES (30)

Your Search for "military" found 30 results in Jokes

1-20 of 30 Results
In the Marines
It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia. The whole regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around inspecting people. There are rows of marines stacked behind one another waiting to be inspected. The colonel...
Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Metaphysical Downsizing
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and...
Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Roman Warrior
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?

A: Gladiator.
Read On >>
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  military (30) 
Private Baby
Which branch of the military do babies join?

The infantry!

Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Hostile Happy Hour
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?

He got bombed.

Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Fox Hole Ha Ha
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?

A: Bestiality

Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Blonde PVC
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.

What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking

Read On >>
whatever
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  military (30) 
Osama Doesn't Get Any
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

Read On >>
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  military (30) 
Bark like a Dogma
A poor minister was having trouble managing his church. The income was pitiful, the plumbing rattled, the roof leaked, the air conditioning didn't work, and the church didn't have the funds for any repairs.

The minister got a brilliant idea....

Read On >>
whatever
religion
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  religion (507),  prostitution (92),  military (30) 
In the Navy
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?

A: With a crowbar.
Read On >>
sex
whatever
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  military (30) 
The Three Generals
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body -- to be measured however they chose.

The Air Force general went...

Read On >>
sex
whatever
gross-out
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  gross-out (686),  military (30) 
Blonde Bank Robber
Q: How do you tell if a bank robber is blonde?

A: She ties up the safe and blows the guard.

Read On >>
sex
whatever
Blonde
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  Blonde (603),  military (30) 
The New Recruit
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges...
Read On >>
sex
whatever
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  gay/homosexual (46),  military (30) 
Osama is Celebate
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

Read On >>
sex
men/women
news & politics
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  men/women (1718),  news & politics (616),  military (30) 
Old Man and the Punk
A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled...
Read On >>
sex
whatever
animals
potty humor
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  animals (947),  potty humor (201),  military (30) 
The Army Hospital
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks:

"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire...

Read On >>
whatever
health
gross-out
sports
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379),  health (734),  gross-out (686),  sports (623),  military (30) 
Blow The Men Down
A male whale and his mate were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance.

He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many...
Read On >>
sex
whatever
animals
sports
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  animals (947),  sports (623),  military (30) 
Oui, General!
Did you hear about the gay French General?

He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!

Read On >>
sex
whatever
news & politics
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  news & politics (616),  gay/homosexual (46),  military (30) 
Isolated Duty
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year unaccompanied in Shemya, Alaska. The first night home, he told his wife he had something to show her.

"I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!" And with that he...

Read On >>
sex
whatever
men/women
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  men/women (1718),  masturbation (73),  military (30) 
Aquamarine
One day, a little boy was peeing in a public restroom when a sailor walked in.

"Wow, mister! Are you a real sailor?"

"I sure am. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Yeah! Awesome!" said the little boy and starting jumping for joy. Soon, a...

Read On >>
sex
whatever
kids
sports
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  kids (630),  sports (623),  military (30) 
Back to Top