Most Popular Tags Today
1-20 of 356 Results
Jokes Tagged:
marriage (356)
A man walks into a barber shop and says, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his...
The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his...
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last...
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last...
A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny.
His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns.
The guy says, "Wow, it really works."
His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns.
The guy says, "Wow, it really works."
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your...
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can...
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can...
People say, 'How do you stay married?' And I say, 'Well, just keep going home 'cause the day you don't go home, it's pretty much over.'
Q: What are the three rings of marriage?
A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
You like Mr. Pibb? You get to drink all the Mr. Pibb you want! But you wake up 10 years from now and think, 'Well, I think I'd like something hot to drink.' Well, you better heat up some Mr. Pibb!
Marriage? Sure. Dabbled in it a little during the late 80s. Wild stuff, brother, wild stuff.
Marriage is like having cable with just one channel: same thing come on everyday. You see other things come on, but you can't watch it.
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club...
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club...
Last night, my wife and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. You know what five years is? Just long enough for me to think this one might not work out.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man...
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man...
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!"
"I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my...
"I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my...
Marriage is an institution. You know, it's a commitment. And you don't get to leave an institution, especially once you're committed.
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.
