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A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw.
He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"
The guy on the street picks up an ear, "Is this...
He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"
The guy on the street picks up an ear, "Is this...
Jokes Tagged:
labor (26)
Q: How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Thirty-seven. You gotta f**kin' problem with that?
A. Thirty-seven. You gotta f**kin' problem with that?
Jokes Tagged:
labor (26)
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Two construction workers work on the 30th floor. One of them has to piss, so the other guy agrees to hold on to him while he leans out a window. Just then the dinner bell sounds and the guy who was holding the other guy runs down to get his...
You know what they said in California? I saw it on C-Span -- people we vote for -- this is what they said, 'I propose that we kick all of the illegal aliens out of this country. Then we build a super-fence so they can't get back in.' And I went, 'Um, who's gonna build it?'
I was in Mexico, and I see how these people operate. They're not stupid. Did you know that in Cabo San Lucas, there is actually a Home Depot? I swear to God. Then I went inside the Home Depot, but there was nothing inside, completely empty. It was...
A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
"How about...
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
"How about...
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's...
"That's...
I think supers have super powers -- like the power to disappear anytime there's some stuff that needs to be done. Like they hear you coming: 'Quickly -- in the shape of a coat rack!'
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a...
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a...
I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.
Let's say you did some migrant working in college, right? And you thought you were pretty good, you could have turned pro, but then, I don't know, you broke your leg or whatever. This is your chance to work alongside the greats of migrant...
Folks, you say what you want about the crackheads, but when they're hard up for a fix, they are good workers. This guy raked my entire yard with a fork in 11 minutes.
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the...
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the...
Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole.
A confused passerby asks, "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"
The digger leans on his shovel and replies, "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."
A confused passerby asks, "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"
The digger leans on his shovel and replies, "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."
Mexicans work hard, brother. They work harder than everybody. Mexican's have the strongest work ethic on earth. If Mexicans had been slaves, slavery would've been over real quick because they'd have done 300 hours of work in about nine hours and still have time for a soccer game.
I don't know about you guys, but I could use a month off. Wouldn't that be sweet? You don't have to get up, go to the bathroom, answer the phone, pay a bill. You wake up a month later: your skin's nice and soft; you're well rested; you lost some weight. I think the coma's underrated.
I applied for a job at a construction crew once -- a lot of big, burly guys there. The foreman said, 'You can have this job, just fill this out,' and he handed me a shirt.
There were so many jobs when they owned us. Now that we're free, 'I'm sorry, there are no jobs.'
