Jokes tagged with 'kids' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Your Search for "kids" found 630 results in Jokes

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?''

His mother smiled and gave...

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

A: His daddy was really a mummy.
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
What is green and yellow and lies in a pile of cookie crumbs?

A beat-up girl scout.

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
It is near the end of the school year.  The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave...

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing his crotch, and the teacher asked, “Joey what are you doing?” Joey replied, “Teacher, my mommy had me circumsized yesterday and it still hurts.” So the teacher sent Joey to...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One but he has to get it drunk first.

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher decides to do taste association.

''I'll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver, and you tell me what flavor it is,'' she tells the children.

So she gives them all a cherry...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused: “Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?” Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. But, within a...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.”

Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. “Well, said Mr....

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

A: She had no arms.
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: How can you find Dolly Parton's kids in a crowd?

A: They're the ones with the stretchmarks on their lips.

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing.

A: She had no arms.

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
In a small town in California there lived two boys, Shut-up and Trouble. These boys were friends, but every once-in-awhile they would get into a fight. One time after they had both just gotten ice-cream, Trouble's ice-cream fell. Trouble then...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
One fine afternoon, a smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit. He called out, “Hey mom, I have no cavities today.”

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised. But she smiled and then frowned knowing the...

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular answer to the teacher's questions?

Arnold: I don't know ma'am.

Teacher: ''Correct!'''

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

A: Get in the Batmobile Robin!

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
Q: What did the blueberry say to the blueberry?

A: You're a blueberry.

kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630) 
A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

"Nope," says the boy, "not for my mom."

The cashier...
kids
Jokes Tagged: kids (630)