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Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A golfer goes "whack" and yells, "Damn!", while a skydiver yells, "Damn!" and goes "whack."
A: A golfer goes "whack" and yells, "Damn!", while a skydiver yells, "Damn!" and goes "whack."
Three bad golfers were teeing off when they saw a pro walk by.
One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?"
The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to...
One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?"
The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to...
Jim and Bob are golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine and climbs down in search of it.
Jim spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an...
Jim spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an...
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with...
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with...
Q: What's the difference between a girl's G-spot and a golf ball?
A: A man will spend hours looking for a golf ball.
A: A man will spend hours looking for a golf ball.
A man asks an attractive woman on the golf course if she'd like to play a round with him. She wins by four strokes.
Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to take him to the parking lot and give him head in her car to make him...
Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to take him to the parking lot and give him head in her car to make him...
A husband and wife take golf lessons at the local club.
The husband goes first and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, "Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows the instructions and hits the ball...
The husband goes first and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, "Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows the instructions and hits the ball...
A giant storm forces a man to pull over at the nearest hotel. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 pigs in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it."
The storm persists and another man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright,...
The storm persists and another man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright,...
I never got a hole in one -- but I did hit a guy, and that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell 'Fore,' but I was too busy mumbling 'There ain't no way that's gonna hit him.'
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron."
That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I...
That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I...
A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager? I've got $500 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club."
Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing....
Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing....
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!"
The guy...
The guy...
Out on the golf course, a beautiful woman asks three men for some help with her putt. "Whichever of you can help me sink this putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget."
The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a...
The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a...
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
I wanna be there when one of these guys snaps, loses it, says the wrong thing at the wrong time -- their subconscious just takes over and he can't help himself: 'Well, that's your 17th win in a row, Tigger -- TIGER!
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer."
"Well, he's rich,...
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer."
"Well, he's rich,...
I actually got to golf recently, and I'm not a golfer. I like the beer cart girls -- that's about it.
