Jokes tagged with 'golfing' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Your Search for "golfing" found 21 results in Jokes

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Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A: A golfer goes "whack" and yells, "Damn!", while a skydiver yells, "Damn!" and goes "whack."
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)golfing (21) 
Q: What has teeth but no mouth?

A: A comb.
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)golfing (21) 
Three bad golfers were teeing off when they saw a pro walk by.

One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?"

The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to...
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)golfing (21) 
Jim and Bob are golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine and climbs down in search of it.

Jim spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an...
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)golfing (21) 
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with...
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)golfing (21) 
Q: What's the difference between a girl's G-spot and a golf ball?

A: A man will spend hours looking for a golf ball.
sex
men/women
sports
golfing
A man asks an attractive woman on the golf course if she'd like to play a round with him. She wins by four strokes.

Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to take him to the parking lot and give him head in her car to make him...
sex
men/women
sports
golfing
A husband and wife take golf lessons at the local club.

The husband goes first and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, "Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows the instructions and hits the ball...
men/women
sports
golfing
A giant storm forces a man to pull over at the nearest hotel. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 pigs in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it."

The storm persists and another man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright,...
sex
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)sports (623)golfing (21) 
Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?

A: The PGA tour.
sports
ethnic
golfing
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)ethnic (427)golfing (21) 
I never got a hole in one -- but I did hit a guy, and that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell 'Fore,' but I was too busy mumbling 'There ain't no way that's gonna hit him.'
sports
golfing
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron."

That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I...
animals
pop culture
laws
golfing
A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager? I've got $500 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club."

Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing....
animals
sports
golfing
Jokes Tagged: animals (947)sports (623)golfing (21) 
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!"

The guy...
men/women
sports
marriage
golfing
Out on the golf course, a beautiful woman asks three men for some help with her putt. "Whichever of you can help me sink this putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget."

The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a...
sex
men/women
sports
golfing
Bob: "I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife."

Jim: "Great trade!"
men/women
insults
sports
golfing
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.

"What is that?" she asks.

"Those are my golf balls."

"Is that like tennis elbow?"
sex
sports
Blonde
golfing
I wanna be there when one of these guys snaps, loses it, says the wrong thing at the wrong time -- their subconscious just takes over and he can't help himself: 'Well, that's your 17th win in a row, Tigger -- TIGER!
sports
ethnic
golfing
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods, the golfer."

"Well, he's rich,...
sex
sports
marriage
golfing
I actually got to golf recently, and I'm not a golfer. I like the beer cart girls -- that's about it.
men/women
sports
golfing