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A young paratrooper went for his first jump from an airplane. Afterwards, he called his father to tell him the news.
"We got in the plane, and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked...
"We got in the plane, and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked...
We don't allow smoking in the lavatories, but we can make an exception for my pole.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I push my beverage cart by you again?
Sorry, no creams or liquids allowed--but if you leave your cream here, I'll make you cream later.
Wow, you have a lot of baggage. Do you need to unload on me?
There was a man getting on my flight, he only had one arm, just one... I'm watching him get on the plane, and all I could think was 'Please let me sit next to him.' And I did. Wrong side. Believe me when I tell you, he fought for the arm rest.
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you...
The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you...
A man goes to his seat on an airplane and finds a parrot in the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes by, and when the man asks her for a coffee, the parrot squawks, "And get me a whiskey, you cow!"
The flustered...
The flustered...
A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.
The agent replies, "I'm...
The agent replies, "I'm...
A beautiful blonde woman boards a plane to L.A. with a ticket for coach. Once she boards, she chooses an empty seat in first class. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman she has to move back.
The blonde replies, "I'm...
The blonde replies, "I'm...
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing...
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing...
A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks the man what his name is.
He smiles,...
He smiles,...
Yo' Mama is so fat, the last time she booked a flight, her boarding ticket read, "Please allow up to 4-6 weeks for freight delivery."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she didn't want the window seat on her flight because she thought the breeze might mess up her hair.
I got on the plane yesterday. I said, 'Sit me next to the fattest son of a bitch on this plane. 'Cause when that explosion hits and that hole comes in the side -- maybe he'll get sucked into it long enough for me to get off the plane.' Is that selfish of me?
