Jokes tagged with 'flying' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Your Search for "flying" found 96 results in Jokes

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A young paratrooper went for his first jump from an airplane. Afterwards, he called his father to tell him the news.

"We got in the plane, and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked...
sex
flying
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)flying (96) 
Q: What do you call a gay guy on an airplane?

A: A fruit fly.
sex
flying
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)flying (96) 
Q: What do you call a flight attendant's vagina?

A: A cockpit.
sex
flying
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)flying (96) 
Hello, would you like some warm nuts?
flying
Jokes Tagged: booty call (580)flying (96) 
We don't allow smoking in the lavatories, but we can make an exception for my pole.
flying
Jokes Tagged: booty call (580)flying (96) 
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I push my beverage cart by you again?
flying
Jokes Tagged: booty call (580)flying (96) 
Sorry, no creams or liquids allowed--but if you leave your cream here, I'll make you cream later.
flying
Jokes Tagged: booty call (580)flying (96) 
Wow, you have a lot of baggage. Do you need to unload on me?
flying
Jokes Tagged: booty call (580)flying (96) 
There was a man getting on my flight, he only had one arm, just one... I'm watching him get on the plane, and all I could think was 'Please let me sit next to him.' And I did. Wrong side. Believe me when I tell you, he fought for the arm rest.
flying
Jokes Tagged: flying (96)Ryan Stout (3) 
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.

The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you...
death
flying
Jokes Tagged: death (167)flying (96) 
A man goes to his seat on an airplane and finds a parrot in the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes by, and when the man asks her for a coffee, the parrot squawks, "And get me a whiskey, you cow!"

The flustered...
animals
flying
Jokes Tagged: animals (947)flying (96) 
A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

The agent replies, "I'm...
insults
flying
Jokes Tagged: insults (1620)flying (96) 
Plane: How do you fly so fast?

Rocket: You'll know when your ass is on fire.
flying
Jokes Tagged: flying (96)space (1) 
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?

A: Must be an earthquake.
insults
Blonde
flying
Jokes Tagged: insults (1620)Blonde (603)flying (96) 
A beautiful blonde woman boards a plane to L.A. with a ticket for coach. Once she boards, she chooses an empty seat in first class. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman she has to move back.

The blonde replies, "I'm...
insults
Blonde
travel
flying
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing...
insults
Blonde
flying
Jokes Tagged: insults (1620)Blonde (603)flying (96) 
A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks the man what his name is.

He smiles,...
men/women
ethnic
flying
Jokes Tagged: men/women (1718)ethnic (427)flying (96) 
Yo' Mama is so fat, the last time she booked a flight, her boarding ticket read, "Please allow up to 4-6 weeks for freight delivery."
insults
weight/obesity
flying
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she didn't want the window seat on her flight because she thought the breeze might mess up her hair.
insults
flying
Jokes Tagged: insults (1620)Yo' Mama (792)flying (96) 
I got on the plane yesterday. I said, 'Sit me next to the fattest son of a bitch on this plane. 'Cause when that explosion hits and that hole comes in the side -- maybe he'll get sucked into it long enough for me to get off the plane.' Is that selfish of me?
weight/obesity
travel
flying