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fashion (114)
Wow, your t-shirt is even more ironic than mine!
Nice rags. I love how they cling to what's left of your festering carcass.
Nice rags. Haven't I seen you rooting around the same pile before?
Haven't I seen that ironic t-shirt somewhere before?
Can you help me pick out a design for my next tattoo?
That sport jacket totally matches your sneakers.
That flannel makes you look particularly undernourished in this garage light.
After graduating from college, Joe was increasingly hampered by worse and worse headaches. By his 30th birthday, he decided to seek medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who could...
Can you imagine if you had a pair of shoes that you could only walk in? That could be kind of limiting under certain circumstances. 'Everybody get outta here! There's a swarm of bees coming!' What? Oh great, I got my walking shoes on today. I guess I better stroll the hell out of here at a moderate pace.
I don't know if you wanna wear your fuchsia with the persimmons socks and the periwinkle shoes with the avocado hat. What are you -- half human, half crayon?
For a long time, babies don't wear real clothes, they wear costumes... My mother in Boston sent us a business suit -- a little suit, a little man's suit: little black pants with a white shirt and a bowtie and a little red sportcoat -- like he's...
You fellas seen these nursing bras? Cup opens right up. You got a snap on the cup: cup -- poof -- opens right up. Where have these been? I spent 16 years with my hand behind her back, 'What is that a staple? A button? Little help?'
I buy a bathing suit every year. Why? Because I can't get enough of the act of humiliation, ladies and gentleman. Generally, guys, do you buy bathing suits every year? No, of course not. You're guys. You cut off a pair of slacks, call it summer.
This friend of mine told me, 'Yeah, I dress this way to attract a guy, but I want to attract the right guy. I don't want to attract every slob on the street.' That's how cleavage works. It's not a smart bomb. It's not a laser-guided weapon. You...
Every item in women's clothing stores now has shoulder pads in them, right? Because women are actually supposed to look more masculine, more broad, more aggressive for the 90s. I heard that L'eggs is coming out with new pantyhose with cups in them.
I love Satan. Well, I don't love Satan; I respect him. He always wears black and silver, silver and black. Anybody who can accessorize in that kind of heat -- that's really terrific.
I have to make a plea to you -- we gotta stop this 70s fashion thing from happening. It's making me want to puke. Who organized this call to arms with the bellbottoms? It's like the biggest nightmare. Whoever decided this was a good idea never had...
Three o'clock in the afternoon today, I'm downtown; there's a guy standing in front of a fire hydrant, which is open just a little bit. He's naked from the waist down, and in the spray from the hydrant, he's shaving off his pubic hair with a...
