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A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain outside a farmhouse.
The salesman bangs on the farmhouse door.
The next morning, the farmer''s daughter wakes up to find her father in bed with the salesman. She shoots them both and...
Jokes Tagged:
farmers (86)
Why was the mommy horse upset with her son the mule?
Because he came out half-assed.
Jokes Tagged:
farmers (86)
A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside.
Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into...
Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Samantha remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Janet walk to the farm, leaving Rebecca guarding the car.
...
On a rainy night, three guys were driving through the countryside. Their car broke down, so they went to a nearby farm. The farmer said, "I only have one spare room but two of you can sleep in other places." So they went to the first place and...
Q: Why did the farmer plough his field with a steamroller?
A: Because he wanted mashed potatoes.
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the...
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the...
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down....
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brough a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole...
What's the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with my hoes
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that...
Q: What did the farmer use to make crop circles?
A: A Protractor
Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here." One cup of yogurt says, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
Egg-Laying
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they'd break
When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do things besides comedy. They say, 'OK, you're a stand-up comedian -- can you act? Can you write? Write us a script?'... It's as though if I were a cook and I worked my ass...
A farmer is in the middle of plowing his field when his tractor runs out of gas. He needs to get back to the farm, but it's too far for him and his dog, Old Joe, to walk.
He wanders out to the road and flags down a sports car. The driver...
He wanders out to the road and flags down a sports car. The driver...
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he...
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he...
A farmer walks out on his field and sees something outrageous: a cow with a halo over her head, a cat on the cow's back, and a rabbit on the cat's back.
"HOLY COW!" he exclaims, "I've never seen a hare on that pussy!"
"HOLY COW!" he exclaims, "I've never seen a hare on that pussy!"
A pheasant says to a bull, "I would love to get on top of that tree, but I haven't the energy."
"Well," says the bull, "why don't you eat some of my dung? It's packed with nutrients."
So the pheasant eats some dung and finds that it...
"Well," says the bull, "why don't you eat some of my dung? It's packed with nutrients."
So the pheasant eats some dung and finds that it...
