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ethnic (427)
Two Americans open a bungee jumping business in Mexico. They set up on the square of a small village.
Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices that Bob...
Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices that Bob...
It's weird when you're a mix. People just want to play detective with your face. Nine times out of 10, they're polite: 'Where are you from?' I'm like, 'Pittsburgh.' They're like, 'Pittsburgh, right. Seriously though, where are you from?'...
With black people, when something happens, we don't wait to see what's going on. We don't want to conversate with you. If you want to talk to us, talk to us while we runnin'.
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub, and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away...
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away...
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London.
"Excuse me, but if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease," says the waiter.
The Texan says, "What's a...
"Excuse me, but if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease," says the waiter.
The Texan says, "What's a...
Helga hangs the wash out to dry, then goes downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
"Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar.
"Bartender," she...
"Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar.
"Bartender," she...
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pee.
A: He drowned in his own tea pee.
I know exactly how every single Asian in the audience felt because you looked at me like, 'Oh God, please be funny. Please be funny.' Before it was just comedy, now I'm doing it for the nation. It's political. Now I do a punch line, I'm like, 'Yeah, take that, whitey! Ha!'
I think prejudice is one of the most stupid things on Earth because there are so many perfectly good reasons to dislike people on an individual basis.
How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house? Your dog is missing, and your homework is done.
If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.
No, Freddy, we're all just people.' Really? I hope you get mugged. Then we'll see how sensitive you are. 'Who mugged you?' 'Oh, it was a person.' 'What'd he look like?' 'Just people, really.'
As long as you can still scare white people, you're not a sellout.
I walked on stage as I heard them say, 'Please welcome Mike Bahooski!', and I was so mad. In my head, I was like, 'You didn't even try! You just said "B" and then whatever you could think of, and you made me Polish. That's a really specific choice.'
