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Three criminals are sentenced to exile in the desert and can only bring one personal item.
"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.
"I brought a water skin, so that when...
"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.
"I brought a water skin, so that when...
Jokes Tagged:
education (98)
Q: How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the light bulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him up.
A: Two. One to change the light bulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him up.
Jokes Tagged:
education (98)
Jokes Tagged:
education (98)
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish.
The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly.
The second guy asks the...
The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly.
The second guy asks the...
I can't stand when a person who's referring to an illiterate person, they say, 'Oh, he can't read or write.' Is there someone who can write but can't read? 'Raul can write like Shakespeare, but he can't read his own work.' Ah, the irocony.
The thing is -- I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
It's the Collegiate Abridged Dictionary -- the word 'chair' is in there. What does this say about education in America? Are we to assume that somewhere in some college there are kids sitting around in a dorm room going, 'Where the hell is my...
If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.
I went to correspondence school. That really sucked -- no school spirit, our school color was manila.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.
Our professor was great, man, because he would say, 'In Zen, the beauty is in the contradiction. You try by not trying. You succeed by not succeeding.' So, I took the final exam by not going. Of course, I failed by not passing, too.
She's not that bright. She calls me up yesterday, 'John, the light bulb in the bathroom burned out. I don't know how to change it.' I said, 'First, you fill the tub with water.'
Women, you can weed out the bad men. Advocate more respect for yourselves. Anywhere you go, carry an English book. As soon as the guy comes up to you: 'Here, read paragraph one. Tell me what it's saying. Underline the verb once, the subject twice....
They don't read here; they don't read the paper. I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip. He thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.
I never understood the concept of summer school. The teacher's going to go up there and go, 'OK, class, you know that subject you couldn't grasp in nine months? We're going to whip it out in six weeks.'
As soon as he misspelled that word, if the Secret Service had any brains, they would have rushed him, thrown him to the ground and said, 'The vice president's been shot.'
I just finished college -- thank you. I didn't graduate. I just decided I was finished.
I went to college for, like, one second. I went to a college called DCCC. With that many C's, you know it can't be good. I think it stood for Delaware County Community College -- Correctional.
