Jokes tagged with 'drugs' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

Show: ALL (809) |  VIDEOS (630) |  JOKES (178) |  COMEDIANS (0)  |  BLOG (1) 

Your Search for "drugs" found 178 results in Jokes

1-20 of 178 Results
As pothead walks down the road, a genie appears in front of him. "I'll grant you two wishes," says the genie.

The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint."

The genie says, "As you wish," and gives him the joint.

The...
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178) 
For years and years, Arj Barker was high on life, but eventually, I built up a tolerance.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Arj Barker (33) 
The whole first week, I thought I was psychic. I thought I had new powers all of a sudden, you know. I'd be like, 'Where are my keys? Oh, they're in my pocket.' How did I know that? Oh my gosh!
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Nick Swardson (20) 
Let me ask you this rhetorically -- which means don't answer me when I ask it: would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Paul F. Tompkins (19) 
I don't have a joke about mushrooms, just some advice: do 'em -- seriously.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Chris Porter (3) 
Hugs are great, but -- better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Artie Lange (6) 
How many potheads does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, you all use candles.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Susan Messing (2) 
How many potheads does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who cares? You're all stoned.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Susan Messing (2) 
You know what gives me a rush? Methamphetamines.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Retta (12) 
Cocaine is yucky. I did it once: I was at a party; I was bored. I was like, 'Alright, I'll do a line.' Then I was just bored longer.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Bonnie McFarlane (9) 
I don't have much of a memory at all. No, I really don't. I think it's the drugs -- prescription and some under the counter, as well -- but, I mean, it's just gone. I'm really bad with names. I mean, I can meet someone, they tell me their name,...
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Sean Rouse (1) 
By round of applause, how many people in here know somebody that smokes weed? I don't have a joke for that, I'm just trying to find a connection.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Big Kenny (2) 
Let me just say -- drugs do not make you cool. It's the people that you do them with that make you cool.
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Prescott Tolk (3) 
For people that don't smoke pot, there's very little difference in behavior between when you're stoned and when you're not. Really there's only one difference: when you're stoned, you forget to say, 'Excuse me, I'm about to change the subject.'
Jokes Tagged: drugs (178)Jonathan Solomon (6) 
A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on the way to the depot.

The police have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)drugs (178) 
Q: What do you get when you mix Rogaine and Viagra?

A: Hair that stands straight up on your head.
lookin' good
Jokes Tagged: lookin' good (489)drugs (178) 
Q: Why do the Dallas Cowboys now play on dirt?

A: Because Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines.
sports
Jokes Tagged: sports (623)drugs (178) 
Q: What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?

A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)drugs (178) 
Q: What happens when you mix Viagra with Mr. Clean?

A: Rise and shine.
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)drugs (178) 
Q: What do you call the new mint-flavored birth control pills women can take before sex?

A: Pre-d**k-a-mints.
sex
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)drugs (178)