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Ethel loves to charge around the nursing home in her wheelchair. Due to her eccentric nature, other residents tolerate her behavior and even play along.
As Ethel speeds down one corridor, a door opens and a man steps out with his arm...
As Ethel speeds down one corridor, a door opens and a man steps out with his arm...
Jokes Tagged:
driving (240)
-- All men are idiots, and I married their king.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back...
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back...
Jokes Tagged:
driving (240)
Q: Why does a traffic light turn red?
A: If you had to change in front of everyone, you'd turn red, too.
A: If you had to change in front of everyone, you'd turn red, too.
Jokes Tagged:
driving (240)
A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulls up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and...
Finally, a police car pulls up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and...
Jokes Tagged:
driving (240)
A lot of times, I'll drive for like 10 miles with the emergency brake. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake.
I got a rental car, and they gave me a Daewoo. Daewoo: that's Korean for 'Just walk.'
I'm getting a new car. You know what kind of car I'm getting? I'm getting a Honda Civic because those are very safe cars. And I know 'cause I saw a guy total one the other day when I ran him off the road.
I was actually in my car today, and I was just driving, and I noticed a guy on the sidewalk holding a cardboard sign that said, 'Where will you spend eternity?'. And that kind of freaked me out because I was on my way to the DMV.
You ever been on the highway, and your side's just cruising, no problem? The other side is backed up miles and miles in traffic. It's a good feeling, isn't it? I don't even enjoy the guy stuck in the middle as much as the guy who's 10 miles back who doesn't see it coming.
Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn't been to the registry of motor vehicles recently.
I read this article that said your car reflects your personality. I don't have a car.
I always have car trouble. I had a 1979 Chrysler. Talk about underpowered -- I was driving, I pushed in the cigarette lighter, the car slowed down.
Harry and Martha drank their coffee as they listened to the morning weather report.
"There will be three to five inches of snow today. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street."
Harry got up from his coffee to...
"There will be three to five inches of snow today. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street."
Harry got up from his coffee to...
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
-- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.
-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high...
-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.
-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high...
A trucker drives his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and starts down the other side when he notices a man and a woman making love in the center of the road. He blows his horn several times, but they don't budge. He slams on his brakes...
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last...
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last...
Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph.
"Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel, "do you see any cops following us?"
The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Damn!" curses the brunette. "Are his flashers...
"Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel, "do you see any cops following us?"
The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Damn!" curses the brunette. "Are his flashers...
On the drive over to his girlfriend's house, a guy listens to a call-in sex show on the radio. The host is explaining that masturbating before sex can help men last longer. The guy decides to give it a try.
He pulls his truck over on the...
He pulls his truck over on the...
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car.
He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40.
A few...
He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40.
A few...
