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Q: Why was the guy so downhearted after his midget girlfriend dumped him?
A: Because he was nuts over her.
A: Because he was nuts over her.
Jokes Tagged:
dating (476)
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a...
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a...
Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this weekend with.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
My love life is like a fairy tale -- it's grim.
I sucked at being single; I was a horrible dater. I used to get phone calls on Friday night: 'John -- hi, it's Blockbuster video. It's nine o'clock on a Friday, you're not here yet. We just wanted to call and make sure you're OK.'
I broke up with this girl. It was my doing, though. I can't tell you her real name, of course, because -- well, she didn't tell me her real name.
I got into an argument with a girl inside a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, 'cause then I tried to walk out and slam the flap.
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won...
"I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won...
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the...
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the...
I answer personal ads. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I think I'm the only one that answers them in the negative. Like, I'll call up and be like, 'Yeah, are you a single, white female, 29, who likes long walks on the beach, poetry and jazz? I'm not interested in that.'
Did you ever argue in a relationship so much, that's how you remember where you were -- 'Didn't we argue here once?'
Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.
-- Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
-- If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
-- A smack to the...
A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin....
The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin....
A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a...
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a...
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York.
The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a...
The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a...
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back...
He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back...
Do you ever play a video game with your girl? I don't like playing because she just wants to have fun. 'Let's just have fun.' 'No, it's a ninja game. I learned technique. I've played for nine months. People know my name.' You play with your girl,...
