Jokes tagged with 'college' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything....
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about it. In order to keep money flowing into our institution we've created a summer program that any slacker could pass.

New Course Offerings for the Summer Session: THEORIES OF TIC-TAC-TOE:...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Possible Courses:

ESSENTIALS OF BONG DESIGN: Discover earth, water, wind, and fire as the tools you'll need to get rid of your syllabus... some killer hashish.

SMUGGLING 101: Who says the party's over? Years of commerce have made this...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
What do you call a fratboy in a suit?

The defendant.

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: Why did Clemson choose orange as a school color?
A: So that the football team could wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set.

The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"

To...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told him the Legend of the Maidens.

The tale went this way: "There are beautiful maidens who live in the cracks and crevices in this valley. If you hear them call,...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
  • Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
  • Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
  • Good girls wax their...
men/women
college
Jokes Tagged: men/women (1718)college (137) 
The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl.

After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He said, "Shree...

sex
college
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)college (137) 
A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.

The teacher,...

whatever
college
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)college (137) 
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

...

sex
college
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)college (137) 
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your...
whatever
college
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)college (137) 
How do you get a Harvard graduate off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

insults
college
Jokes Tagged: insults (1620)college (137) 
This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can't...
sex
college
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)college (137) 
What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?

"Would you like fries with that?"

Blonde
college
Jokes Tagged: Blonde (603)college (137)