Jokes tagged with 'business' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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Your Search for "business" found 153 results in Jokes

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One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding...

business
Jokes Tagged: business (153) 
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and...

business
Jokes Tagged: business (153) 
What's the difference between a wife and a job?

After ten years the job still sucks!

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the salesman says, "Well I'm all out of tunafish."

So the guy says louder, "I want a ceiling fan."

But the salesman says, "I told you, I'm all out of tunafish."

The guy frustrated, yells,...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Where do one legged people work?

IHOP!!

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?

A: Fuck if I know

health
business
Jokes Tagged: health (734)business (153) 
Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it's kinda like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'
business
Jokes Tagged: business (153)Mitch Hedberg (36) 
Uh, yes, hello, I'm hosting a very important party at my mansion this evening, and I'll be entertaining some foreign dignitaries, heads of state and the like. I wanted to spruce the place up a little bit. Tell me -- what do you have in the way of balloons?'
business
I hate it when people don't do their jobs. It's rampant in this country today. There's a company -- you know by their name they're not going to do anything: U-Haul.
business
Jokes Tagged: business (153)George Miller (9) 
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

Yes, I was a salesman in...
whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 

Dear __________________________,

    I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 

Run one lap around the office at top speed
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player'must be in the bathroom at the time)
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning'...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 

1.  Never give me work in the morning.   Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2.  If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
COMPETITIVE SALARY
Most of our competitors don't pay much either.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
You'll be here very late, very often -- might as well be...
work/office
business
Jokes Tagged: work/office (325)business (153) 
Q: What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?

A: "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"
insults
business
Jokes Tagged: insults (1619)business (153) 
A shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the...
sex
business
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)business (153) 
A man was walking down the street when he came upon a brothel. He noticed a couple having sex on the lawn. He saw another couple behind a tree and two more behind some bushes.

He walked up to the brothel, knocked on the door and asked what...
sex
business
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)business (153) 
Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?

A: Beat it. We're closed.
sex
business
Jokes Tagged: sex (2376)business (153)