Jokes tagged with 'business' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding...

business
Jokes Tagged: business (153) 
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and...

business
Jokes Tagged: business (153) 
Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?

A: "Curl Up and Dye."
death
business
Jokes Tagged: death (167)business (153) 
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his...
whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Lem: ''I got fired from my job as a bank guard.''

Clem: ''That's awful. What happened?''

Lem: ''Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it.''

Clem:...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and...

kids
business
Jokes Tagged: kids (630)business (153) 
10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, 'Hell.'

9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, bitch!'

8. Your garbage can IS your 'in' box.

7. You wake up...
whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
How many IBM employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

technology
business
Jokes Tagged: technology (345)business (153) 
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
The manager of a megastore came to check on his new salesman.

"How many customers did you serve today?" the manager asked.

"One," replied the new guy.

"Only one?" said the boss. "How much was the sale?"

The salesman answered,...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
1) Inflatable dart board.
2) Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
3) A book on how to read.
4) Solar-powered flashlight.
5) Screen door on a submarine.
international affairs
business
A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked,

"Do you have any military experience?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
What's the difference between a wife and a job?

After ten years the job still sucks!

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the salesman says, "Well I'm all out of tunafish."

So the guy says louder, "I want a ceiling fan."

But the salesman says, "I told you, I'm all out of tunafish."

The guy frustrated, yells,...

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Where do one legged people work?

IHOP!!

whatever
business
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)business (153) 
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?

A: Fuck if I know

health
business
Jokes Tagged: health (734)business (153) 
Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it's kinda like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'
business
Jokes Tagged: business (153)Mitch Hedberg (36) 
Uh, yes, hello, I'm hosting a very important party at my mansion this evening, and I'll be entertaining some foreign dignitaries, heads of state and the like. I wanted to spruce the place up a little bit. Tell me -- what do you have in the way of balloons?'
business
I hate it when people don't do their jobs. It's rampant in this country today. There's a company -- you know by their name they're not going to do anything: U-Haul.
business
Jokes Tagged: business (153)George Miller (9)