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Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring...
There was an old man from Nantucket
Who had a cock so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a pussy, I'd fuck it!"
Who had a cock so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a pussy, I'd fuck it!"
A mid 20's bachelor walks into a grocery store to pick up the necessities (a case of beer, toilet paper, a tv guide and some frozen dinners). He goes to the checkout and the young lady cashier looks at him and says, ''Wow, you must be single''....
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesnt want anyone to know he's fucking chickens.
A little Native American boy asks his chief how babies in their tribe get their names.
The chief replies, "When a baby is born, the father takes him outside of the teepee, holds him over his head, and names him after the first thing he sees -...
Where is an elephant's sex organ?
In his feet - if he steps on you you're fucked.
A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him ''I bet you've never been hugged before.''
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, ''I bet you've...
What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A blow job with handle bars.
There was a little boy who got up one morning and was pissed cause his mom didn't have his breakfast ready. So he went outside and kicked the chickens because he didnt have any eggs. Then he went to the pig pen and kicked the pigs because he didnt...
What would you find on bin Laden's penis?
Camel shit.
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
A woman goes to an ice cream parlor and asks for a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk apologizes and says that they are out of chocolate and asks her if she'd like to choose a different flavor.
The customer says, "Sure, just give me...
What's the similarity between American beer and having sex in a canoe?
Fucking close to water.
A nun was walking down the corridor when suddenly she trips up.
She yells out in pain, "Oh Christ! Oh God, I said Christ! Oh shit, I said God! Oh, fuck, I said shit! Oh, who wants to be a fucking nun anyway?"
This guy buys a new motorcycle. The salesperson tells him that when it rains to go outside and rub Vaseline on it because it makes it look nice and shiny.
Later that night, he goes to eat at his girlfriend's house, and the rule at thier house...
Later that night, he goes to eat at his girlfriend's house, and the rule at thier house...
Q: What does a vulgar chicken say?
A: Fuck, fuck, fuck...
Confucious say: ''Man with dick in peanutbutter jar is fucking nuts.''
If someone says "fuck you," just simply reply, ''Nah, you wouldn't like it. I'd just lie there and tell you that you're doing it wrong.''
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have...
