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A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar.
After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry about it," said the Texan, "we have plenty...
After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry about it," said the Texan, "we have plenty...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
There were two men sitting on a wall outside a pub called the Queen's Legs. A policeman came along and said, “What are you doing?” The two men said, “We're were wating for the Queen's Legs to open so we can have a drink.”
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Why do drunks throw up in the sewer?
So homeless people can have breakfast.
So homeless people can have breakfast.
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing....
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing....
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Joe walks into a bar. Joe's friend, Al, sits down next to him. Joe tells the bartender, “I'll take a large beer.”
The bartender says, “Do you want dry beer with no aftertaste, or brewed beer with aftertaste?”...
The bartender says, “Do you want dry beer with no aftertaste, or brewed beer with aftertaste?”...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone must find out a moral for the next day's class.
One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover."
...
One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover."
...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man was walking down the street and on the corner were 3 drunks trying to raise a telephone pole. They worked and worked and finally got the thing in the air. Two of of the drunks held the pole and the other climbed on top. He let down...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Q. Why didn't Hitler drink tequila?
A. Cause it made him mean.
A. Cause it made him mean.
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A mushroom goes into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender walks over and says, ''I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve your kind here.''
The mushroom sits back and asks ,''Why not? I'm a fun guy (fungi)!
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry,...
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry,...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi...
When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye."
The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. The barman looks at him curiously and says, ''Buddy, you know you got a steering wheel shoved down your pants?'' The man answers, ''Yeah, I know! It's been driving me nuts all day.''
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
