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-- Sag! You're It!
-- Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
-- 20 Questions Shouted in Your Good Ear
-- Kick the Bucket
-- Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
-- Doc, Doc, Nurse
-- Simon Says Something Incoherent
--...
-- Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
-- 20 Questions Shouted in Your Good Ear
-- Kick the Bucket
-- Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
-- Doc, Doc, Nurse
-- Simon Says Something Incoherent
--...
Jokes Tagged:
aging (239)
Once you hit 30, your life changes -- all the 30-year-olds know what I'm talking about. You hit 30, you don't run for the bus anymore. You get about halfway and go, 'Oh, there's other buses. I'm 30, this is garbage. I'm taking a cab to the bus.'
I'm not gonna tell you how old I am. Let's just say it's somewhere between 30 and a Wal-Mart greeter.
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult -- kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't -- those are the good plates.'
One Sunday, a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor noticed that...
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor noticed that...
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again,...
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again,...
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make...
Not wanting to make...
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat right in front of them.
The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far.
The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far.
Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health.
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go...
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go...
An old lady approaches a police station and observes three women in hand cuffs waiting to go in.
The old lady asks one of the women, "Why are you in line?"
The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks and says, "We're waiting in...
The old lady asks one of the women, "Why are you in line?"
The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks and says, "We're waiting in...
Reverend Smith visits Mrs. Jenkins, one of the elder parishioners in his church. Reverend Smith notices that on top of Mrs. Jenkins' organ sits a bowl which contains a condom floating in water.
Befuddled, Reverend Smith asks her to explain...
Befuddled, Reverend Smith asks her to explain...
An old man and his wife sit in bed watching TV. Suddenly, the old woman turns off the TV, faces her husband and slyly opens her bathrobe. "How about some super p**sy?"
The old man calmly says, "I'll take the soup."
The old man calmly says, "I'll take the soup."
An old woman says to an old man at the rest home, "I can guess your age."
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then...
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then...
An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is.
"It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly.
"What do you use it for?" asks Grandpa.
The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep...
"It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly.
"What do you use it for?" asks Grandpa.
The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep...
One day, an 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall.
Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."
Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."
