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My love life is like a fairy tale -- it's grim.
My brother went to NYU in 1979 -- and now he's a sophomore.
Don't you love the zoo? I love the monkeys, those are my favorite. They're so cute. And my least favorite, those are the, uh -- with little heads, the -- the kids.
I don't mean to stereotype, but like most women, I love to shoplift.
Doesn't Prince Charles look like somebody kissed a frog and it didn't change all the way?
The only way to have safe sex is to abstain -- from drinking.
So, I was on the treadmill, and I was just treading, and there was a guy in font of me, and he was on that rowing machine. And I kept yelling, 'Stroke! Stroke!' -- 'cause I was having one because I am not used to working out.
My best friend got a truck. She didn't want to be so trendy, so she got a UPS truck. You might laugh, but she can park it anywhere.
The bride's family sat on this side, and the groom's family sat on that side 'cause of the restraining order.
I love being in my 30s: I figured out my past; I kind of know where I'm going. But I found a gray hair, and that completely flipped me out 'cause it was the first one on my chest.
I got my first bikini. It's a three piece: it's a top, a bottom and a blindfold for you.
Don't do drugs. I saw what they did to my friends -- I'd get stoned, and they'd look really weird to me.
I'm scared of sex. You can get something terminal -- like a kid.
I go running when I have to -- like when the ice cream truck is going 60, or I need a lift to the bakery.
I got my period today. I'm happy 'cause most of my friends got it when they were 13.
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