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It's supposed to be an honor to be a pallbearer. I've never been carrying a casket, thinking, 'This is an honor.' I'm thinking, 'This is heavy. Are you guys even lifting back there? It's like dead weight on my end.'
My friends'll ask me if I get a lot of girls because of comedy. That insinuates I get so many girls, I've gotta categorize them. Like, I got these girls because of comedy, I got these girls because I'm rich, and I got these girls because I look like Harry Potter.
The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.
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