No matter what the issue is, he has the pat African American answer. He's like the black See and Say, just pull the string: 'The cops were murderers.' 'O.J. was innocent.' 'I like "Moesha."'
Our relations with Cuba suck right now. Why? Because of that kid. Look, you know what? I'm sorry this all happened, but I am so tired of hearing about this kid. I don't wanna see his face again unless it's on a carton of milk.
I'm gonna miss Clinton, I really am. I don't care that he had affairs. It doesn't bother me. He's not screwing my girlfriend. And even if he was, the economy's in great shape. I can't get another economy.
You know, I'm not saying what Clinton did is right or wrong; I'm just saying it's right. I don't care! Like Lewinsky: 'She was young enough to be his daughter.' He's from Arkansas -- just thank God it wasn't his daughter.
I'm tired of hearing about how America's a bully. America is not a bully. Bullies beat you up and take your money, and that is not what America does. America gives you money -- and then we beat you up. We're the mob. We just kinda wait for the...
I'd love to have some sympathy for what happened to Michael Kennedy, but I can't because sometimes bad things happen to bad people. When you get away with having sex with your 14-year-old babysitter, maybe you should hide from God for a little...