What is going on at the airport? Could we put a dress code at the airport? It looks like a slumber party over there. Do people care what they look like anymore? They just come out now as-is. They must roll out of bed, and then they're at United.
I didn't know there were rules to text messaging. I called her back. I'm like, 'What's going on?' She's like, 'What the hell are you doing? We're not ready for this. Hang up and text me back.'
Don't come home horny, drunk, you want to text your girl a sexy message. Look what you're typing before you send it. I didn't look; I just sent it off. She called me right back, she's like, 'Uh, what do you mean you want to "kick my puppy"?'
I just got dumped recently -- on e-mail. When we first started dating, the e-mails were cute. Couldn't wait to put the computer on. Subject heading was always friendly: 'Hey baby, thinking of you dot dot dot'... I would open up her e-mail and...
I don't even know what these women come out wearing today: clubbing wear, whatever they got. They come out with the little half top on with the wrong half hanging out. Do a sit up -- people are eating.