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Ladies ask the craziest things. My last girlfriend, all quiet, she turned to me and would be like, 'Would you still love me if I weighed 500 lbs?' I was like, 'Why -- is that one of your goals?'
Can you imagine behaving the same way at your job as you did in college? Be on the phone at midnight like, 'Dude, I got a $40 million business pitch due tomorrow. I haven't even started it.'
Everyone thinks the youngest has it easy. Parents took it easy on you. No, more like they ignore you. I was born, and they were like, 'Listen, your name is Michael. There's food in the fridge.'
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