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My dad's an atheist, doesn't believe in God, but he still demands on saying grace before every meal. Well, how do you say grace if you don't believe in God and if you can't start with 'Dear Father'? So what my dad does is -- we all hold hands, we bow our heads, and he says, 'To whom it may concern.'
I would rather date an anorexic woman than a bulimic woman. OK, now hear me out -- an anorexic woman, although sickly and disgusting looking, I don't have to buy her dinner.
I have a German girlfriend, and it's weird for me because I'm American. I love America. So, whenever we have sex, I feel like I'm cheating on the United States. The only way I can convince myself it's OK is if I pretend that my penis is a machine gun and she's a neo-Nazi.
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