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I don't understand how some of you women can be abused by a man with a Jheri curl. That don't make no sense, man. All you gotta do is carry a lighter.
I'm pissed off. I read that we have a $3.6 trillion debt and our budget is $240 billion -- and this woman is bothering me about my student loans.
The Republicans are smart: Reagan, he forgets everything; Bush, he can't remember. So you know Quayle's going to end up in office because he doesn't know anything to forget or remember.
Women, you can weed out the bad men. Advocate more respect for yourselves. Anywhere you go, carry an English book. As soon as the guy comes up to you: 'Here, read paragraph one. Tell me what it's saying. Underline the verb once, the subject twice....
My wife was in labor for 24 hours. Hey, it wasn't my fault -- I told her to hurry up.
My dad used to use his police psychology on us. We would be outside playing; my father would come home from work and say things to me like, 'Lewis, come here. I thought I told you to mow the lawn.' 'Well father, I forgot.' My dad looked at me,...
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