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I show up every day at work, and I go, 'Really? They're gonna do that? All right, keep paying me, I'll keep showing up.' Four years later, I'm standing in front of a woman with a mouthful of animal sh*t going, 'You can do it! You get it in there! Don't give up! Please! Concentrate!'
There's a girl with a mouthful of animal penises, and I'm telling her 'You can get more in there,' and she's listening to me? And this is my job? Man, was my guidance counselor off.
Did it ever occur to you that the whales that beach themselves are the retards of the whale community?
What's the one thing that everybody associates with alien abduction? Anal probe. What -- aliens don't have MRI's?
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