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I don't wanna say she's on medication, but she has an Elvis Pez dispenser with valium in it.
I was driving around today. I pulled off the freeway; I get stuck at the bottom of the off ramp. There's a guy standing there -- had to be tipping the scales at a smooth 420 pounds. I don't wanna say he was fat; I'll just say he was...
What does the TSA actually stand for, Take Scissors Away? Thousands Standing Around?
People were licking frogs to get high... They were making an arrest -- I'm watching this going, 'How the f**k did he get caught?'
I love the people that care more about neutering stray cats than they care about homeless American veterans... What they should be doing is neutering the homeless American veteran because they are much easier to catch.
You don't kill people when you get fired. You steal stuff.
I love my brothers, but I would not want to share a kidney, a spleen and a liver with them. Two Irish guys, one liver?
I love it when they make the women take off their shoes. Yeah, like any woman's going to blow up a perfectly good pair of shoes.
Jokes Tagged:
men/women (1718),
travel (277),
fashion (114),
flying (96),
terrorism (51),
Jimmy Shubert (8)
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