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I got talking to a girl in the front row; I asked her her name. She said, 'It's Pataka.' I said, 'That's an unusual name. You don't hear that every day.' To which she replied, 'Actually, I do.'
Throwing acid is wrong in some people's eyes.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning.
No matter how much money you give a homeless person for a cup of tea, you never get that tea.
Presumably at some point in the flight, she turned to him and said, 'My ears are popping. Have you got any hard candy?' And he said, 'No, no, I haven't, but I've got an idea.'
If you eat a lot of spicy food, you can damage your sense of taste. When I was in Mexico last year, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Mel Gibson's made a film about the life of Christ, and he's tacked on a silly Hollywood ending, where the hero comes back at the end.
Ladies, if you get a burning sensation when you pee, it could be one of three things: it could be a urinary tract infection, it could be a bushfire, or it could be someone's talking about your vagina.
Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years. Men reach theirs after about four minutes.
My girlfriend's reading a book at the moment. It's one of these sort of new age things. It's called, 'Women That Love Too Much,' which I think could have the title shortened to 'Sluts.'
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
My girlfriend used to get upset because I left the toilet seat up. So, I don't do that anymore; I put it down. But there's no winning with her. Now she gets annoyed because it's covered in piss.
My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'
The reason old men use Viagra is not because they're impotent. It's because old women are so very ugly.
Actually, a couple of weeks ago, I failed to perform sexually. I'm not going to go into detail, but suffice it to say, I 'arrived early.' And my girlfriend said, 'Don't worry, that' happens to a lot of guys.' I said, 'There's two things the matter...
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