My friends -- they're useless. If I have a problem, they don't listen. They give me some stupid cliche expression. Like, I had a bad day. My friend goes, 'Tomorrow is another day.' Oh, thanks. I didn't know that. I was so scared. I see the stores...
I'm not that good, though, when people come to me with their weight problems. This girl, she goes, 'Oh, my legs are so fat.' I didn't know what to say. I went, 'No, they're in proportion to your arms.'
I have an older sister. During the 60s, I was a little kid, she was a teenager. She went through a phase where she would experiment with drugs. What that meant is she'd take a bunch of pills, go, 'I wonder what these do,' and she'd shove them in my mouth.
I met this girl last week, and we went back to my place, and one thing led to nothing. She goes, 'No sex. We're just going to sleep. We'll be friends.' What friends do that? I played basketball with my friend the other day. I didn't say, 'What do you want to do now? Let's take a nap together.'