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My ex-girlfriend called. She's getting married; she called to tell me. Yeah, she called. She wanted closure. I said, 'What part of us not talking the last year seemed open to you?'
When my last girlfriend wanted to get a little serious, I had to use the old wild stallion technique to get her back in. I said, 'Baby, I'm like a wild stallion. You try to put a saddle on a wild stallion, he'll run and he'll run and run some...
The thing that I hate about tall people is that they just assume that the rest of us want to be tall. That's not true. That's just like people with hair just assume that everyone without hair wants to have hair. That is true.
Lions sleep 85% of their day, have sex up to 55 times a day. That's what we should be shooting for. I would love to get that much sleep.
Have you ever seen a really, really old tall person? Yeah, me neither. They don't last very long. Enjoy your basketball and your view, tall people. You're going down.
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