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I love New York. It's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.
I have the biggest crush on my dentist. I've been doing everything to see him; I gargle with Coke.
He's like, 'Caroline, you've got a cavity,' and I'm like, 'I know -- and I'd like you to fill it.'
It wouldn't bother me that much if they could show me one marriage that has come from that kind of an introduction.
I'm even in denial about the fact that I'm in therapy. I've just convinced myself there's a friend that I see once a week, and then I lend her $90, and she never pays me back.
I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves. I'm looking for a well-hung mime.
Therapy's amazing. You sit there and you talk about yourself for an hour straight, and the other person listens to everything you say. It's like I'm the guy on a date.
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