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Went to the beach today. I could feel the women just dressing me with their eyes.
I've been in L.A. about six years. I've already had a series -- series of disappointments.
I got a cousin who's a psychotic with low self-esteem. He only wants to assassinate the vice president.
Put strobe headlights in my car to make the deer run slower.
Caught my last girlfriend cheating on me. She was at a Sizzler, laying in the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
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