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Of all the people there are least of, we are the biggest of that group.
One time, I come out and go, 'Anyone here speak Spanish?' Guy in the front row says, 'No, thank God.' And I was blown away by that. Normally, I can roll with it -- I had nothing; I'm just staring at the guy. 'No, thank God'? God? Really? But in...
How can you not love the Spanglish? I love it -- twice the vocabulary, half the grammar.
Being Puerto Rican in New York, I grew up -- I swear to you -- thinking that White Castle hamburgers was traditional, indigenous Puerto Rican food.
My mother says, 'You know, J-Lo doesn't even speak Spanish.' I say, 'I know, but her ass does.'
Your specific reality depends on where your people come from, right? For example, Mexicans get shot trying to get into this country, Cubans get shot trying to get out of their own country, Puerto Ricans get shot just for trying to have a country.
We've gone far ever since Ricky Martin. Thank you, Ricky. Who would have thought all you had to do to make Latin music so popular is just take out all the Latin music.
I do not think of George Bush as an idiot, OK? I like to think of him more as an intellectual celibate.
I had a scare last time flying into San Juan. We lost cabin pressure, and instead of oxygen masks, rosary beads dropped out of the ceiling.
I saw this today in the window of Victoria's Secret: a camouflage thong. On what battlefield are you finding it necessary to disguise yourself as shrubbery with a great ass?
If anybody here doesn't know how to dance salsa, let me help you out right now... One word: rum.
George Bush speaks Spanish. That's why they love him in Miami -- 'cause he speaks Spanish and 'cause he hates Castro. Won't even refer to Castro as 'president.' It's always, 'Mr. Castro.' And Castro refers to Bush as 'El Pendejo Junior.'
One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know,...
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religion (507),
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Bill Santiago (14)
I didn't really understand my family until I moved to Puerto Rico as an adult. For, like, five years, I lived there, and before then, I had always assumed that the dementia, the craziness in our family, was specific to our household. Then, I moved...
Jokes Tagged:
ethnic (427),
family (349),
travel (277),
mental health (123),
culture (67),
Bill Santiago (14)
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