Most Popular Tags Today
1-20 of 75 Results
-- a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
-- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
-- Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy...
-- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
-- Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy...
Jokes Tagged:
America (75)
Alabama: At Least We're Not Mississippi
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen on TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't...
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen on TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't...
Jokes Tagged:
America (75)
Is it weird being a twin city? Do you sometimes know exactly what the other city's thinking?
To every race of people in here tonight that whitey has jacked up, I sincerely apologize -- for taking your land, for the abuse, for the torture, for the small pox blanket, for the Jim Crow laws. Black people, I apologize for Kramer.
We're the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting sh*t done.
I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses -- just go in and blow everybody away on the first day.
We have more food in our gas stations than they have in all of Bosnia. It's true. Our motto should be 'America: never more than 50 feet from a snack.'
We are the fattest nation on the planet. You know we're obsessed with food when we come up with something called cotton candy. Who was so hungry they thought, 'I wish I could eat my clothes'?
Of all the people there are least of, we are the biggest of that group.
It's sad to think about it, but let's face it -- the average American wouldn't know how to question authority if it was on the other end of a knock-knock joke.
I think our country doesn't want us free; I think they want us sedated. You know, so we don't notice things -- like who's running it.
If you're not sure who is a terrorist in this country, they've really helped us out to figure it out. If you go to the website of the Department of Homeland Security, they'll give you some hints. First thing you want to look for is pregnant women,...
It's America, not a load of laundry -- no need to separate the white and the colors.
I have never been so glad to be back in America, where people speak Spanish.
I know that most domesticated animals aren't indigenous to this country. So guess what, cat? You can beat it. Go back to Catalina Island or Catalonia, Spain, or Katmandu, or wherever the hell your hairy ass is from! 'Cause this is America and around here - Katmandon't.
I like immigrants 'cause they really appreciate America. They get here; they happy. They look up at the buildings like, 'Wow! It's beautiful.' And we're like, 'You like it? Good. You gonna clean the bathrooms.'
I was reading in the paper that a lot of kids in the United States are suffering from depression. Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.
Have you ever seen somebody order in this country? That's when you realize -- hey, maybe we have too much freedom in the United States: 'Can I ask you a quick question about the coffee? Is it organic? OK, I don't want it, I don't want it. I'd like...
Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
