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I'm half-Mexican -- get used to it 'cause in about five to 10 years, you're all gonna be related to one. Whether you like it or not, no matter how much you prepared your family, you're gonna show up at Thanksgiving one of these years, you're gonna...
So I go back, reluctantly, down a murky hallway to what looks like a Dollar Store dressing room, and I open up the dirty curtain. There's a velvet Elvis on the wall with the eyes cut out -- some weird sort of quality assurance program they're...
What's happening is there's a warm front of Mexicans that are humping their way north to the point where you'll be up in Canada one of these years, walking around, you'll be like: 'Hey look, Eskimos! They came down.' Those aren't Eskimos --...
Then I get there and I swear -- it's San Jose, CA -- there's 2,000 Mexicans. And you know you're half-Mexican when you walk in and you're like, 'Damn. This is a lot of Mexicans. Only half of me is the only white guy here.'
Don't bring your sand toys to the park. That's another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I'm on the Vicodin and a little weed too -- let's face it -- and I go in there, and my wife's like, 'Bring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!' And I...
We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat -- these ladies are all business -- she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.'...
You grow up real quick, a half-Mexican in a sailor's suit, because I'd be riding the streetcar to school everyday -- minding my own business, humming out a 'Frere Jacques' -- and I realized that in any other town, this might be considered cute. But you know what it is in San Francisco? Sexy.
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sex (2379),
lookin' good (489),
ethnic (427),
growing up (259),
city (225),
Al Madrigal (7)
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