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My brother went to NYU in 1979 -- and now he's a sophomore.
Don't you love the zoo? I love the monkeys, those are my favorite. They're so cute. And my least favorite, those are the, uh -- with little heads, the -- the kids.
Doesn't Prince Charles look like somebody kissed a frog and it didn't change all the way?
The only way to have safe sex is to abstain -- from drinking.
I'm scared of sex. You can get something terminal -- like a kid.
So, I was on the treadmill, and I was just treading, and there was a guy in font of me, and he was on that rowing machine. And I kept yelling, 'Stroke! Stroke!' -- 'cause I was having one because I am not used to working out.
The bride's family sat on this side, and the groom's family sat on that side 'cause of the restraining order.
I don't mean to stereotype, but like most women, I love to shoplift.
I go running when I have to -- like when the ice cream truck is going 60, or I need a lift to the bakery.
My best friend got a truck. She didn't want to be so trendy, so she got a UPS truck. You might laugh, but she can park it anywhere.
My love life is like a fairy tale -- it's grim.
I got my period today. I'm happy 'cause most of my friends got it when they were 13.
I love being in my 30s: I figured out my past; I kind of know where I'm going. But I found a gray hair, and that completely flipped me out 'cause it was the first one on my chest.
I got my first bikini. It's a three piece: it's a top, a bottom and a blindfold for you.
Don't do drugs. I saw what they did to my friends -- I'd get stoned, and they'd look really weird to me.
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