When I first called up my high school sweetheart, I hadn't seen him for 12 years, and I found out that he had become a cop. And I thought, 'Oh, cops are so brave! They're heroes and protect us from bad people and risk their lives!' Then I met them all, and I found out they go to Hooters.
My husband, he goes, 'Hooters is a family restaurant.' And I go, 'What do you think I am -- stupid? It has an owl theme: hoot, hoot.' And he goes, 'No, they have really good wings.' And I go, 'Oh, well, I go to this place called Balls. It's a...
My husband's so macho, he has five guns, a helicopter, a motorcycle; he used to be on a SWAT team; and he works the cattle at his mom's farm. So, I thought, he's either really macho, or he's really gay and he's overcompensating. He likes to clean...