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That's all part of some kind of weird 'Wild Kingdom' project. The guy's gonna come back in 20 years and do a special -- be like, 'We're live, here in the East Village, with "Wild Kingdom." All the specimens we tagged still don't have jobs.'
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Golf is boring enough to play, never mind watch it on TV, but then, to make it extra boring, they actually show slow motion replays. What the hell do you learn by watching a guy putt in slow motion?
When I meet a girl, I ask her to pose nude for a painting I'm doing because that's a very good way to get her to sleep with me.
You know, guys, when you catch yourself doing those things your dad used to do, those things that used to embarrass you? And then you catch yourself doing the same thing? I caught myself doing the 'fold tuck' in public the other day -- my dad could tuck his pants in anywhere.
If she says, 'Which centerpiece shall we use on the tables at our wedding reception?' Don't say, 'I don't care.' Guys, that is gonna seem like the right answer because you don't care. And in your mind, the way guys think, we got the math worked...
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