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How do you like that word pairing: 'suicide doctor'? That's like 'pyromaniac fireman.' Suicide doctor -- what's malpractice for this guy? You live?
Here's the worst moment on the phone -- somebody calls you with a wrong number; then they call you back again to verify their stupidity. They should have special equipment for this: retard redial.
We sit down to eat, and a large black bug with a big red blotch starts crawling up my leg. My wife says, 'Kill him.' And I say, 'Are you talking to me or the bug?' She says, 'Rob, kill him.' I say, 'Mary, let him walk off on his own.' And she...
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