Most Popular Tags Today
1-20 of 48 Results
I'm not that promiscuous; she was. I mean, I should have known. I mean, she put a triangle over the bed. Before we made love, which was sad, she went, 'Come and get it.'
I'm a hypochondriac. Backstage, I don't sign autographs -- I signed a valium for some woman.
She was hostile. You don't have an orgasm and say to your lover, 'Take that!'
I purposefully studied ventriloquism so I can throw my orgasm -- which was sort of a sad moment in my life.
If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.
I usually meet people at my doctors' offices because I go all the time. It's embarrassing. Like at the skin doctor last week, in the lobby, the nurse said, 'Hi Mr. Lewis. Do you still have that rash on your behind?'
Little kids ask questions every second. She must have asked a thousand questions in one block, and finally, I panicked. She went, 'What are those clouds made of?' I'm an idiot anyway -- I go, 'Steam from a hot dog.'
My grandfather was a Jewish juggler. He used to close his act -- I was told -- he used to worry about six things at once.
I was thinking about The Boss, The King. It's sort of sad -- the next legend, what are they gonna do? 'Ladies and gentlemen, Veal Cutlet!'
It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap -- that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?
God forbid I should have a simultaneous orgasm with anybody. My goal this year is to make love being naked.
If you make love -- if you're lucky enough to have a partner -- let it out. Shriek like a baboon, man. I have this theory: at the moment of my conception, my mother shushed my father during his orgasm. It gave me low self-esteem.
It's low self-esteem. I understand; I was brought up with it. I go on the road -- when I do concerts, I bring a portable Wailing Wall. I'm always prepared.
I have lowered my expectations, sexually. I don't care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don't make any grammatical errors.
We ran out of classical music -- that's how long this wedding went on.
Even if I'm aroused, my penis is in the shape of a question mark.
When I was growing up, my mom would have a toast at the beginning of a reunion: 'You're killing your father.'
I wear ear condoms. I don't even want to listen to what I might be contracting.
I tried phone sex. I'm a hypochondriac -- look, I got an ear infection!
