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I'm not gonna cut the cord. I mean, babies get mixed up or even stolen from hospitals all the time. This is obviously the best way to prevent it. What better way to prove it's your kid than to make sure it's still connected to you? Believe me, I raised four cordless kids -- they were outta control.
It's always been a dream of mine to get the minivan. I don't know about you guys, but when I was in a high school, my bedroom wall was covered in minivan posters. I had that popular one, where the pregnant woman is leaning against the hood,...
Hitchhikers see me coming, they hide behind trees. I'm so miserable, I pull over anyways: 'Come on -- hop in and stab me. Let's get it over with.'
I got the four kids and a wife, which is five more than I wanted.
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