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I'm from New York, so I thought everybody had Tourette's.
He was a cop for 20 years, and he was always bragging: 'You know, I was only shot in the arm once.' Well, according to my mom, she said, 'If I would've aimed better, I would have gotten him in the head, the son of a bitch.'
I'm getting married to a very successful car salesman. I'm so excited. I know you've been staring at my ring. Isn't it fabulous? He sold it to me.
I guess you're all wondering, 'What did you do, Pam, before you were a stand-up?' I was a slut.
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